Who...are YOU?

Hello again! I just need to comment on the title: I wrote/read it like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland (the old cartoon). I have to be honest, not a huge fan of that movie, but for some reason when thinking of the title for this post, that's what came to mind.

So first off, Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanza! Whatever it is you celebrate this time of year, I hope that it will be a wonderful celebration filled with family, friends, and lots of love! I love this time of year, lights, music, family, delicious food... Most of all I love the uncontrollable sobbing that comes upon me when I think about Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus. Seriously, I'm not sure what's going on with me this year, but anytime I hear a song about how Jesus came down as a tiny little baby, or all the crap poor Mary had to go through (cause seriously guys, it was not easy for her...) I just want to burst into tears of joy and gratitude. I'm scared for the future, what if I'm pregnant, or just had a kid around this time of year? It's going to be horrendous! And if O come, O come Emmanuel comes on, forget it. It's done. I might literally drown in my own tears...

But I digress, I did not want to discuss my weepy Christmas issues here today. Much as I adore Christmas, and the beauty and wonder of it all, I want to shift gears here and talk about something else. I want to share with you a little bit of reflection. See, today marks a very important day. Today I've been back in the States for one year. Yes, it has been one year since I have been back from living in Marseille. I can't believe it! So, that being said, I need to talk about some things. I need to share a bit, because it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to (see what I did there?).

So here's the thing: When you get back from living overseas, your life changes. A Lot. Some of you are saying "Well, duh." most of those who said that, you've had experience in this area. Some of you said, "How? It was just a year..." oh good! Glad you asked! That's what this is about. I'm going to share a few key points as to how this experience changes your life, and how you, as someone who may not understand from experience, can be an understanding friend, sister, brother, mom, dad, etc. to someone you know who has experienced this. Understand that our identities have changed in a way, and as we're readjusting to life here, we're also readjusting to our roles, and who we are (hence the title of the blog!).

1. You lived in that country for one year, [Insert home country here]'s your real home. That was just a place you lived a while...

Okay, writing that statement was so hard for me. Anyway, here's why that thinking can really hurt someone who lived overseas (especially a missionary). When I was living in Marseille I invested so much in that place, in the people there. I loved it very deeply. I had to choose either to put down roots, or not. As a missionary, even though I knew I would only be there for a short while (one year and one month to be exact) I had to make a decision: either I would put some roots down, or I would stay aloof, and not be connected at all. So I chose roots. And while I do not regret it at all, not for a second, it was extremely painful to uproot myself from that place. It was my home, the people there had become family. My heart had grown very attached. So when people say things to me like "How can you miss [insert something French here] that much?" or "How can that feel like home? You lived in America your whole life!" it makes me sad. Because there is no way I can convey how I feel if you have not experienced it. 

So if someone says something like "I miss [insert country, tradition, cultural experience, etc. here]" Don't criticize them, just say something encouraging or supportive, like "I'm sure you do!" or "What about it do you miss?" or something, anything other than "You're American, in America, how can you miss that place? Get over it!" (This is an extreme example, but you get the point.)

2. Understand that if we talk about the country, language, people, etc. we're not trying to brag, once again, we probably genuinely miss it.

So it's hard for me to do this sometimes. I feel like I have to hold back when I miss something, or I get excited about something French, because I have gotten backlash from this. People thinking that I'm trying to brag about having lived in France. I'm not. And, while there are exceptions to this, most people aren't bragging, we just genuinely miss the place, people, singing in [insert language here], customs, etc. We are not better than you because we lived somewhere else, and most times, we don't think so. A lot of the time, this can be a hinderance for us to assimilate back into "normal" life, because this was such a big part of our lives, and who we are now, and if people are rejecting this part of us, we can often feel that all of us is being rejected. 

3. Speaking of assimilating back into "normal" life, this is a CHALLENGE. 

So be patient with us as we navigate it. For me it has been extremely difficult to reintegrate myself into my church. I almost feel like I don't know how to talk to people anymore. Because of the experiences I've had with sharing about my time overseas with certain people, I have become so shy. Which is so not me, if you know me at all. I've become shy because I'm afraid of people. And I know, this is something I need to work on, but when you've had people kind of look at you like you think you're better than them because you lived for a year as a missionary, in France no less, you become a little closed off. I went from being at a small church plant in Marseille, to Bethany (where almost everyone around you completely understands what you're going through) to a church with several hundred people, most of which whom I do not know anymore. It's been hard for me, and I'm trying to figure out healthy, good ways to reintegrate. So as we figure out ways to reintegrate, please be patient, and understand that this is not easy for us. Help us if you can, but pushing us, not such a good idea to be honest....

4. Finally, we are not the same people we were when we left.

As a missionary, and having one year on the field under my belt I can tell you this: I am a VERY different person from when I left for Marseille. I see the world differently now, I feel a part of two different cultures. I see the world through new eyes, and I have grown in my faith and my relationship with God so much! This doesn't mean that my life is easier, or my walk with Him is simple now, but this means it is deeper, and more a part of who I am than ever. I had to rely completely on Him in EVERY way. I also grew very close with my team, because I had to rely on them for a lot as well. Through living in a another culture, leaning on God completely, and learning to love others no matter what, I have changed so incredibly much. I don't even recognize myself anymore, and I really love it. Because I have changed for the better, I'm still me, and I'm in no way shape or form perfect, but I'm a better me than I was two years ago, and that makes me happy.

That being said, be understanding that the person you knew before may not be there anymore. That is not to say that your relationship with them has completely changed, or that all is lost. This means that you might have to get to know them a little bit again. They are still them, but a newer, better them. Take the time to understand where they are coming from, how life has changed for them, it'll be worth it.

Okay, so now that we've covered all those topics, here's my closing: be patient with us, and get to know us again. We've gleaned some wisdom from living in another culture (if we've spent our time at all wisely), we're different, but we're still us. Let us share a little bit about our experience, not because we're bragging, or because we're better than you, but if we're building a friendship with you, we want to share this part of our lives, because it's a vital part of who we've become, and because it's a part of us now. If we like you enough to share, that's saying a lot. Be understanding, be kind, and know that we're trying, hard as it can be fore us at times, we are trying.

So, have a Merry Christmas, have happy holidays together with your loved ones, and remember you are loved. God became a baby, who grew into a man that died and rose again for you whether you believe in Him or not, He believes in you. He loves you.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

The Father's Heart in a Time of Crisis

Normally I don't write here in such a way, but this week I just want to again, address some of the things happening in the world, and the church's response to it.

Now here is my disclaimer: this is the first, and very possibly (depending on the future which only God knows) the last time I will be posting in any sort of political way in this blog. The reason I am doing so is that the Lord has been moving on my heart to do so, which is why I am writing this at almost one o'clock in the morning. And by saying this, I am not saying that what I say is gospel. But I do feel this is on God's heart, and it's actually something that has been on my heart since even before the attacks and subsequent division in America about the Syrian refugee crisis. So here it goes, and bear with me, whichever way you lean on this issue, please try to understand where this is coming from, and that this is a Christian post, so it won't be riddled with facts and statistics because it is not my aim to convince to you to join my side, but rather a challenge to think about this from a  different perspective, from a perspective of Christ. Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's dive in, shall we?

The Dangers...

So I figured we'd start with the obvious. The world was rocked once again, on Friday, October 13th when several attacks were carried out in Paris, killing 129 people, injuring over 300, and changing countless lives forever. My heart broke as the news reports came flooding in. I lived in France for over a year of my life. I had stayed in a little apartment just twenty minutes from Bataclan when I had visited Paris last year, I had friends in Marseille, a highly Muslim populated area. What would happen there? There are no words to describe how I felt. The people of this nation that I love so dearly were being terrorized. And I could only begin to imagine how they were feeling. It reminded me of how I felt when I was eleven years old, and the planes hit the towers in my native state of New York. I felt like that little girl again, confused, angry, grieved. While I was not deeply connected to the situation, I could empathize, I felt touched, even if it was just barely.

I share this because I want you to understand: While I may not have been directly effected by these horrible events, I was effected in some way. I was deeply saddened, and wanted retribution for these heinous acts. And as you can see my immediate thought was: what about my friends that live in a city surrounded by Muslims? Marseille has a population that is made up of close to, if not over 50% Muslims, from North Africa, the Middle East, etc. That was my gut reaction: will something happen there? But nothing did. Northing happened in Marseille.

Fast forward to now, our country is being divided: do we let in all of these refugees, where a terrorist could easily smuggle themselves in under the guise of being a refugee? What if there's another attack because we let them in? And again I have to admit that my initial reaction is: Ummmm..... NO! I mean this is stupid, how is this even an argument? We're going to put all our lives at risk so these people have a place to escape to? Why doesn't Saudi Arabia take them in? There's got to be other countries that are closer, and not my country that can take them in, surely! 

Now let me say this: this is a very valid argument. I understand, we don't want more bloodshed. We do not want another attack. I've heard both sides, that there is an excellent vetting and backing process for each refugee, and that that is a bunch of crap and there is no way to guarantee that each citizen that comes through is a "safe" person. So is this the right answer? Should we just leave it here, and be done. I mean let's be honest, all the vetting in the world still couldn't really weed out all the terrorists, could it? But that's most definitely not the end....

Stuff Christians Say...

I said this was a Christian article, didn't I? So I want to address Some things that I've been hearing: "Let's just turn the Middle East into a parking lot." "We should just kill them [Middle eastern Muslims] all."  Hm. 

That sounds super Christ like, right? Yeah, no. So we have this situation on our hands now: letting refugees get caught in all this crossfire, killed, tortured, mutilated, or offering them sanctuary. It would be simple except they're Muslim and could be hiding terrorists in their ranks. So would it just be easier to let them all die then? To let them starve, to let the children be abused, to let ISIS get to them and perform unspeakable horrors? 

"It would be easier if they were Christians, but they're not, so oh well." "Tough." "We're safe, they're not, it's the luck of the draw." "Sucks to be you." "Close the borders and let them figure this out on their own." "This is not my problem." we say as we sip over priced coffee from our ombre red Starbucks cups, which we're totally offended by, by the way. But whatever, we need our caffeine fix and Starbucks is everywhere. 

We sit in our comfy chairs in our big houses watching our flat screen tv with pictures from halfway around the world, and we're told one way or another how we should think. So we listen and accept like a spoon fed baby. Meanwhile these refugees are wondering where their next meal will come from, if they will be gunned down, if their children will survive the flight from their home. Their home. But this problem is just too great, there's too great a threat to our safety, so we don't think twice about it.

I don't say this to be overly critical, guys, I thought the same thing almost literally hours ago. I felt the same way. I didn't want to deal. I knew this was a rock and a hard place because I, among many Christians, do actually care about these people, but we also care about our safety, and the safety of our children. I get it! Really, I do. It is massively dangerous to open our land to so many people, some of which could be coming here with the intent to harm. But here's something else we need to think about....

What the Bible Says...

"If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. " (John 15:19-20 ESV)

Not what you thought I'd post, is it? I could post any number of verses on refugees, to care for foreigners, for those in need, and I might still include some at the end, but I want to talk about this for a little bit. See, the West has largely forgotten these verses. The persecuted are in Africa, the Middle east, the jungles of South America maybe, but not here not in America! But guess what, we are not exempt from persecution. Does this mean we want to be persecuted? No! Does this mean we want to let those who would persecute us through violence and fear waltz right through our front door? No! That's unwise. Haha, I anticipated that one too guys. I told you I've thought about this. A lot. But does that mean that we shut out the orphan and widow so that we can avoid persecution? Absolutely not.

Church we did not do our part and we are reaping what we've sewn. "Say what now?!" Here's what I'm saying: Missions has been largely neglected over the past several years. And there were very few who would be willing to set foot in the Middle East. I mean let's be honest, why would you trade in your Cadillac, white picket fence, living on a cul de sac with sparky and 2.5 kids, and a nine to five job for the desert and a possible beheading? Not many people would... Sure, let's go to church every Sunday. That works, but taking the gospel to the Muslims? Um, no. It isn't until recently (within the last ten or fifteen years) that this has begun to actually take off.

So now, because we did not, as a church, go to these people, who clearly desperately need to know Christ, they are strapping bombs to themselves, and shooting civilians in cafes and concert halls because they think that's how they'll get to heaven. They are terrorizing their own people because it's comply or die. The devil just waltzed right in there and wreaked havoc so fully on these people that we have become terrified to do exactly what God commands us to do: take care of the hurting, take care of those in need.

So here's how I see it: There is an entire mission field of people coming to the States. Instead of us going to them, they are coming to us. And yes, there might be a terrorist, or two, or five, or eighty, or one hundred mixed in there. But guess what? "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44) Those terrorists, they need Jesus just as much as you or I do. And what if, just imagine with me for a second here, we as a church gathered around these refugees, we gave time, effort, and whatever else we can give, to show them that they are loved. To show them Jesus. What if those terrorists see the love of Christ in us, and instead turn around and realize that what they are planning is evil? What if they get saved, turn around, return to these terror cells and share Christ with them? Oh church, how beautiful that would be. Now you may call me a dreamer (John Lenin reference intended), but here's something that you need to remember: the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. If that power can raise Christ from the dead, I think that power can change the heart of a terrorist, of five, ten, eighty, hundreds, thousands of terrorists.

Guys, Jesus came to bring us life, and these men will have to answer for what they do and have done before the judgement seat of Christ, but I have to be honest, I would rather see them come to know Christ, love Him, and share Him with others, than obliterated. And that is the power of Christ in me, because my flesh wants retribution, but my spirit wants more brothers in Christ worshiping alongside me for all eternity.

The Father's Heart...

So, I just want to share this last bit with you, on the Father's heart, hence the title of my blog post.

 I recently re-watched the movie Blood Diamond. It's a great movie on the conflict diamond trade and child soldiers. It's a double whammy, so bring the tissues.

Anyway, there is this scene towards the end of this movie, and if you don't like spoilers, then just skip over this part. Now I need to give this back bit before I continue: Solomon (our protagonist) has spent almost this entire movie searching for his family. He finds his wife and two daughters, but finds that Dia (his son) has been taken and made a child soldier, made to kill, steal, do drugs, etc. So Solomon sets off with Danny Archer (our amoral sidekick to the protagonist) to find Dia. Danny's in it because he's looking for a giant diamond Solomon buried in the hills at a diamond mining camp. After a series of events, including finding Dia again, and reuniting father and son, Danny, Solomon, and Dia end up in the hills, digging up this diamond. These soldiers, Danny knows, are going to kill Solomon, Dia, and Danny, and take the diamond for themselves. So before Solomon finds it, Danny kills the soldiers, Solomon digs up the diamond, and Danny calls Solomon's name with warning. Solomon looks up, and his own son, that he loves so dearly, is pointing a gun at him. He had spent all this time getting his son back, only to face this monster, that was threatening to kill him, his own father. But Solomon looks his son in the eye, he knows that the child is scared, and reacting from all the previous gunfire, and he says these words to him:

"Dia, What are you doing? Dia! Look at me, look at me. What are you doing? You are Dia Vendy, of the proud Mende tribe. You are a good boy who loves soccer and school. Your mother loves you so much. She waits by the fire making plantains, and red palm oil stew with your sister N'Yanda and the new baby. The cows wait for you. And Babu, the wild dog who minds no one but you. I know they made you do bad things, but you are not a bad boy. I am your father who loves you. And you will come home with me and be my son again." 

Now, just so you can get the full effect I'm going to insert the clip here: 

So why am I sharing this? Because we need to start humanizing people again*. This is God. He reminds us who we are. We have done bad things, some (not all) of these men that are training in these terrorist groups have been made to do bad things, just like Dia. But God loves them anyway. We have all been Dia, we have all been in a place where we were even trying to separate ourselves from God, but He reminded us who we are. God created us, He created them, with a purpose, with a plan. Sometimes we deviate from that plan, but we are still created by Him none the less. We are still loved by Him none the less. Jesus still died for us. We have got to remember that when taking into account all of these people, from the refugees to those terrorizing them: God knew us before we were formed in our mothers' wombs. God has a plan and a purpose for our lives. Every life is precious.

*I am not saying we should not go to war, or try to stop terrorists, but if there ever is another way (and again, not saying there is) we should always try to find it, we should seek the way that gives the most opportunity for people to live, and have a chance to know Christ.

So Now What...?

I've given you more than enough to chew on. All I am asking, is not that you change your mind, or stance, but that you consider all sides. That you truly think about what Jesus would actually do. We all wore those bracelets a few years back, WWJD? Well I'm asking it now, and I really want you to think about your answer. Remember, Muslim is not synonymous with terrorist, and remember that every person should have a chance to hear the gospel, so far as we can give them that chance, we should do our best to. Food for thought is all this is, like I said in the beginning, I'm not throwing statistics, or highly researched facts around, I'm just thinking from a biblical perspective of things, and asking that you do too.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Let's Set the Record Straight on Missions in Europe...

Okay, so the Lord has burdened my heart to write about this subject that is so close to my heart. For those of you just joining us, I did a missionary internship in Marseille, France last year, and I'm going to Belfast, Northern Ireland next year as a missionary. So clearly, God has given me a heart for Europe. But I need to address something I have found very disheartening within the church: the lack of support I have received in these endeavors to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of Europe that so desperately need it. Now when I say this I am not just talking about financial support, and for the sake of the rest of this post, support will not mean financial support. I am talking about prayerful, spiritual, and encouraging support. That is not to say I haven't received any support, I have, and I am so thankful for those of you that have been supportive, and agreed with me in prayer as the Lord leads me to these amazing people. But we need to talk about the people who haven't supported, the leaders that I had to fight tooth and nail to get on board with me, and even then it's with much reluctance. This needs to be addressed, and I'm not going to stay quiet about this anymore, because my heart is weeping for Europe, and I know that it is a reflection of how God's heart weeps for the lost that still reject Him.

The Great Commission...

We all know the great commission: "Go into the unreached parts of the world, in Asia, Africa, and parts of South America, with the most poverty, that have the best pictures for your slideshows, and tell them about Me so I can come back sooner. But do not worry about those that have television, radios, and access to bibles, they've chosen to reject Christ, and that's their problem, not yours. And I will be with you always." No? Yeah, that's not the great commission I remember either.... Here's the real one: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Fo therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20, emphasis mine) Huh, that's odd... I missed the part where all Jesus cared about were the unreached? Oh, maybe because that's not all He cared about! Now, I have to say this, and it is one hundred percent true: I absolutely care about the unreached. I long to see them know Christ and make Him known in their nation. I believe that there are many people called to them, and I myself am called to one day go to the unreached. If you've known me for any amount of time you know I feel called to go to Iraq one day, and be a missionary there. So yes, reaching the unreached is so important, and is very much on God's heart, but is it supposed to be at the expense of other nations as well? Europe needs Jesus, and I will touch on that in the next section, but should we be making it difficult for people, like myself, and many friends of mine, that are called to Europe to actually get there? When Christ has specifically said to go to all nations? I think there is something seriously wrong with a picture where other nations, that need Jesus, are being rejected and passed over because we want Jesus to come back sooner? Is it fair for us to pass judgement and say: "Well they had their chance, too bad, so sad..."? 

The Great Lie...

Europe doesn't need missionaries. This is one of the biggest lies I've heard. "Why are you going there?" or "Sounds like a vacation to me..." or "That's too expensive, why don't you go somewhere else that has a lower cost of living?" are all arguments that have it's root in the lie that Europe does not need missionaries. So let's have a little history lesson, shall we? 

Since Christianity became a major player in world religions, and even before, there have been countless wars over religion. But let's focus on the part Christianity played in religious wars... To name the major conflicts, there were the Crusades, where European "Christians" invaded the Middle East and North Africa to force Christianity upon the "heathens"... And yes, there was much more at play than just that going on, but it was all done in the name of Christ. Many died, there was much bloodshed, and death. Then there's the Inquisition, can't forget our buddies involved in that one. Many were tortured, burned, and killed in the most brutal way for "not complying with the Holy Church". Oh, and of course, the slaughter of Protestants during the Reformation. This is the conflict that has carried the longest... There is still fear amongst Protestants in France because of what was done to their grandparents, great-grandparents, and all the way back to the beginning of the Reformation. Northern Ireland is still just coming out of the fog of war between Protestants and Catholics. Many times, if we're being honest, there is much behind just Protestant and Catholic, Christian and Muslim that brings about these wars and killing, but it's more often than not wrapped in the label of religion in order to justify it. 

Okay, so what's up with this history lesson? Well, now you understand the utter distaste many Europeans have for religion. Jesus has become this bloodthirsty tyrant to so many, that the true gospel of Christ has been lost in the shuffle of idolatry and war. He no longer is the loving, merciful God full of grace, but a man that has had so much blood shed because of His name. I don't know how to put it in simpler terms other than this: The Jesus we know is not the Jesus the majority of Europeans know. At best He is a distant deity, at worst He's a man that has been the cause of conflict ending in blood. So is it really any wonder they want nothing to do with Him?

The Great Reason...

So why am I writing this? Well, we, as a church have greatly forsaken Europe. Many look at Europe and see a warning, not a mission field. Before I went to France I was told it was "The missionary graveyard." I believe that is due, not just to the spiritual darkness there, but also because of the lack of support missionaries have when going to Europe. I, as well as many missionary friends, have been shot down and questioned when we tell people we are going to Europe as missionaries. Maybe it's because we don't have pictures of poverty and need, because you can't always capture brokenness on camera. And oh, there is such brokenness in Europe. Suicide, depression, broken families, broken homes, are so common there. But as I said, that can't always be captured in pictures for me to show. All this to say: we need you church. I am pleading with you, to step up, and recognize that the lost are not just in Africa, Asia, and parts of South America, but they are in Europe, North America, Australia, they are everywhere. They are not just the unreached, but they are those that have rejected God too, they are those that have heard of Jesus, in passing, as a man that caused war and strife in their country's past. I have had to fight to have this recognized, I have had to work hard to show people why I am going where God has called me, and I'm not complaining, because it has given me more passion, drive, and more of a heart for these people. But I am saying this: stop making us fight for this! We should not have to fight for your prayers, for your encouragement, for your spiritual support! God has called us to these amazing places, to these amazing people, not so we can be on vacation, or so we can "have it easy", because being a missionary in Europe is not as easy as you might think it is, but because HE has a heart for these people. Because He has created them, He loves them, and He wants them to know that. His love, and desire for them is no more, no less than the love He has for those who have not been "reached". 

The Great Challenge...

So here is my challenge for you: Start praying for missionaries in Europe. Start talking to God about His heart for the people of Europe, ask Him if there is anything He wants you to do for European missionaries. If you feel the Lord lay it on your heart to write an encouraging note to a missionary there, do it! If you feel the Lord prompting your heart to pray or do something for a specific country, do it! Maybe you feel prompted to pray every day for each country in Europe: do it! Whatever God prompts you to do, do it! Please do not for get us, do not forget what God is doing there, and recognize that as God moves through Europe He is raising up more missionaries to reach the unreached and the lost in this world. He loves them, and church, it's time we stepped up and loved them too.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

I know it's not Christmas, but let's be honest, I think we've begun to get more excited by pumpkin EVERYTHING than snow! Or maybe not... But if you're like me, you love fall! The color of the leaves as they change from green to brilliant hues of orange, red, and yellow. Unfortunately in South Florida all the weather change we know is from disgustingly hot to moderately hot. But hey, at least we still get pumpkin everything! 

I digress, if you're part of my Facebook group, then you know the exciting news I received, I am officially at appointee status! Woo-hoo! This means that: I can start support raising, and really get the ball rolling on heading to Belfast! I am SO excited to be in this stage of the process! At the moment I'm working on figuring out my budget (taxes can be a pretty tricky thing to figure out...) but once that's all done, I can really move forward, and let you all know about how you can help me in my support raising endeavors. 

This is a journey that I am taking with you. Keep that in mind! Your prayer, financial, and encouragement support are all part of making this possible. God created each of us to be part of this process, and I'm so thankful that you are here, walking alongside me, helping out in whatever capacity you can! I'm looking forward to joining the team, who just got offices for the church, which I'm so excited to see! They're also starting another school year with the students at Queen's University by holding another leadership course for them, teaching biblical principles of leadership in practical ways. Tomorrow night they're having a party for some of these students, and over nineteen countries will be represented, how cool is that? I can't wait to get over there and join them! But in this I am most definitely learning patience! It's all in God's timing, and I know that in each season, each place that I am the Lord has me here for a reason, and is teaching me more about who He is, and His heart for the people of this beautiful world that He created. 

I encourage you, that no matter where you're at, no matter how hard it is, to find contentment in the season God has you in. I understand, believe me, and I am in no way perfect at this (see last blog post....), but it is an area I'm trying to grow in. So let's grow in this together!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Finding Contentment In That In-Between Stage...

Hello All! Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've found it a bit difficult to write, to be perfectly honest. So I just want to give an update on everything going on!

I went to New York in June to be a part of my sister's wedding! It was a wonderful time of family, friends, and getting to spend time with my sister and her husband! It was also a bit of a rough time for me as well, dealing with certain things within family dynamics, but the Lord is good, and those things were able to be resolved. Overall though, I'm so thankful for my time in New York, and for my family, whom I love so much!

After my trip to New York came my trip back to Minnesota! Yes, I know, I just came from there, but I had to return for candidacy*. Unfortunately I was not able to do candidacy* with fellow candidates, but I really enjoyed my time back on campus for two weeks, getting to say good-bye to those that I didn't get to say good-bye to before. It also got me even more excited to continue on my journey to Belfast!
*Candidacy: A process that all candidates of Bethany International are required to go through. This process includes classes on all aspects of missional life, from support raising, to member care. It also involves meeting with a therapist to ensure the candidate is fit for fielding.

After my time in Minnesota I returned here, to Florida. This has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life. During this time I've been waiting to move from candidacy to appointee* status with BIM (Bethany International Ministries). I've been seeking employment that fits with my carless, missionary-in-waiting status with little luck. So in the meantime this has left a lot of free time on my hands. This has been very difficult for me, because while I might enjoy having some time on my hands, I'm not so sure I like having quite so much time on my hands. The lack of social life here has also left a lot of time for over-thinking. To be totally honest, it's been rough. I'm not sure when I'll be able to start support raising, and I haven't had too much to occupy my time... While I have been taking advantage of some of this time, to spend it with the Lord, I've been struggling a bit in that area as well. I'm being completely honest with you all in saying that these are moments when I question everything: what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through all of this? These are real questions that I really do ask.
*Appointee: After candidacy has been completed, and the therapist has submitted their report, clearing you for fielding, a process which can sometimes take months, candidates become appointees. Once an appointee, you can begin raising funds, and are essentially in a pre-field position.

I am telling you all this because I want you to know: I'm not perfect, and I never have claimed to be. I have doubts sometimes, and I question everything. Just because I have chosen to dedicate my life to ministry does not mean I'm better than anyone, or that I'm a perfect person. I get frustrated that I can't move forward at this time, and I get annoyed that I have to wait to begin support raising, which in turn means I have to wait to go to Belfast. But when those questions come up, when I have moments that I just want to throw my hands up and say "I'm done, I'm going to get a normal job, get an apartment, a car, and be a normal American girl." I have to remember that's not where God called me. He has called me to share His word, to bring healing, and to love people, not here, but overseas. That is my heart, that is my life. It's not easy, especially in this in-between stage, when I feel like I'm just floating aimlessly while I wait. But I have to trust in Him, something which does not come easily to me at this moment. What it boils down to is a choice: am I going to choose to trust Him, to love Him, and believe that He has my best interest in mind, or am I going to choose to go off of how I feel. Am I going to choose to put Him or me on the throne of my life. This isn't an every day choice, this is an every hour, every minute, every second choice. And sometimes, I choose wrong, and have to repent. But I am not going to give up my faith, I'm not going to walk away from God just because it gets hard. It's hard, believe me, but I know that following my own path, that putting myself on the throne of my life leads to a hollow, empty existence. I know this because I chose that path eight years ago, and it led to one of the darkest times in my life. I can't always hear God's voice, but I know that He is here, with me, loving me, guiding me forward. I hold on to all the truths that He has spoken to me through His words: "'Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth! The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.'" (Psalm 46:10 ESV) "'Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.'" (Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV) "The LORD will fight for you; you need only be still." (Exodus 14:14 NIV) God will not abandon me. There will be times of trouble, Jesus said there would be (John 16:33), but He hung on that cross for me until it was finished, so that He could be with me, to show me how much He loved me. I can handle this, not because of my own strength, or will-power, but because He gave me the strength to. The same power that raised Him from the grave is alive in me (Romans 8:11), I can make it through this time.

I wan to be honest with you, which is why I've shared all this with you, but I also want to encourage you. I know it's hard. Being a Christian is hard, following God's plan for your life is hard, look at all the obstacles in this world that don't want us to succeed: our flesh, the devil, those alone are pretty formidable. But remember God's promises, remember that you are not struggling alone. It might feel like your drowning (believe me, I know the feeling... very well...) but when we feel like we're drowning, we need to stop looking at the storm. We need to look up, we need to look into those eyes that hold all the love, all the shelter we need. Then we need to reach up and take hold of the nail pierced hand and hold onto it for dear life. We have been given the tools to survive this, we need to start using them. Like I said earlier, we were promised troubles, but Jesus goes on to say this: "'But take heart; I have overcome the world.'" (John 16:33 ESV)

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Summer Time....

Malus Beauregard House,
New Orleans

Some pictures from the road trip!
Gateway Arch, St. Louis

Hi Everyone!

So I've been home for about a week and a half now! I had an incredible road trip with my best friend and her brother, we got to see and experience so much! It was such a great trip! And, I got to show her around the place where I (sort of) grew up, so that was a lot of fun too. Now I'm back, I was also able to spend some time with my sister and her best friends during her bachelorette weekend. I really enjoyed getting to hang out with and talk to them. It was a really great time, laughing, talking, and just spending time with each other.

Eating some barbecue in Memphis!

National Civil Rights Museum,
Memphis

I wanted to share a little bit about some time that I spend in New Orleans. On our road trip we decided to stop in the Big Easy for a few days and just explore the city. It was so much fun! Especially since so much of the city has a lot of French mixed in! So while we were there I was able to see another side to it, I'm not sure if it's because I'm just more aware of these things, or because the Lord was pointing them out to me, or maybe this is totally normal to see, but I saw so much hurting, and pain. I saw people trying to make themselves happy, people who were selling themselves to make others happy, and people who were just downright miserable. It broke my heart. I saw devastation of a different kind, devastation of the spirit. I saw a hollow emptiness, and it stirred something in me. I knew in that moment, this is why the Lord has called me to a life of ministry. This is why I have such a big heart, because there are so many hurting people in this world that need to know the greatest healing that can come to their soul is the love of God.

As I reflect on my calling, I'm also reflecting on the next step I'm taking in my life. I am so excited to be going to Belfast, not just because I'm going to be working with an incredible group of people, or because I get to live in an amazing place full of history and beauty, but because for the next few years it is a place where I get to work, full time, reaching those that need to experience love. I get to just love on people, and live out the testimony of Christ's love for me. This is the truth: every person, no matter who they are, or what they've done is worthy of love. Christ taught us this. Love, God's love, has the most incredible power to heal, restore, and transform. This is my heart, this is my calling and my purpose. I want to love, radically, to be an example of the love of Christ. I'm not perfect, far from it, I make mistakes, and unfortunately sometimes I hurt people, but my hope, my passion is to do my best not to hurt others, but to show them love where there is none. Yes, there is more to being a follower of Christ, but it all starts and ends in love. "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV

Beignets at Cafe du Monde,
New Orleans

Claire and I in the French Quarter

So, my challenge to you is this: love radically this week. Love outside the box. Instead of judging someone for what they are doing, try to understand where they are coming from. Just because you are trying to love by understanding them, and their past does not mean that you condone their behavior. You are simply trying to show them the love that Christ showed you when you came to Him broken and desperate. So step outside the box, think of those that frustrate you, irritate you, make you downright angry, then think of a way that you can show them love this week. I'm challenging myself here too. I think it'll change our lives, don't you?





Blessings and Love,


Chrissy

Gulf Coast, Mississippi

One Season Ends, And Another Begins.

Ready to Graduate!

Some of my closest friends here at Bethany!
Love these girls so much!

Yesterday I graduated from Bethany Global University (Formally Bethany College of Missions). It's crazy to think that I'm done. Like, CRAZY. It still hasn't hit me that I may not see some of my classmates again for a LONG time. A season of my life is over. And what a wonderful season it has been! I have grown and learned so much. The Lord has shown me so much more of His character, His love, and His patience in this time being here. He has used my classmates, my teachers, the staff, so many people have been a part of this time. I can't even begin to thank all of you who have been such a big part of this journey! I love you all, and pray that the Lord blesses you abundantly for your hard work, and the time and energy you have put into the lives of those around you, especially mine. From the very depths of my heart, thank you for being here for me, and for loving me.

Christine, me, and Claire
Les Trois Filles!

So, what's next? As I said in my last post I will be going to Belfast (woohoo!! So excited!!)! So, what does that actually look like from here? Well, first, I will be staying on campus for the next two weeks. After, I get to take a road trip with my best friend, Claire, and her brother down to Florida. I'm pretty excited! I think it's going to be lots of fun! I'll be in Florida for about three weeks (one of which will be spent at my sister's bachelorette party!). Then I'll be flying up to New York for my sister's wedding! I'm so excited to celebrate with her, it's going to be a blast! After that, I come back here to Minnesota for a week. I'll be going through candidacy with Bethany International Ministries (This is an organization that is connected with my school, and the organization I was under while in Marseille). Once I finish going through candidacy, I can begin support raising! So the beginning of July will probably be the time I begin to raise support.

My Friend Amanda and I

With flowers and balloons
From my siblings!

I am so excited for this process, and for everything to get underway! As I described in my last post, I'll be working with Every Nation Belfast (I worked with Every Nation Marseille, formally Evolution 13, while I was in Marseille. So I'm pretty familiar with Every Nation as well as Bethany International, which is so great!). It's a church plant in Belfast (http://everynationbelfast.co.uk) pastored by Johann and his wife, Andrea. I felt the Lord place this on my heart when I visited back in November, and after a lot of prayer and seeking the Lord, I believe this is where He wants me! I am excited to be working in prayer ministry as well as children's church! Ireland has had people of great faith come before, C.S. Lewis from Belfast for example, and I want to be a part of helping people find out who Jesus really is. That they might go and share the gospel all over the world. I want to see them healed, and called up to leadership. I want to help equip them with the tools they need. I want to work with children, to help bring them up in the knowledge of God's love for them, and this world. I want to see Christ and the true gospel once again burn in the hearts of the Irish. I want to love well, to be a light, and to take the gospel to those who so desperately need it. I believe the Lord is asking me to do this in Belfast, to learn, to grow, to love, and to share. I am so excited to have you partner with me in this, whether through finances or prayer.

My Partner in Crime, the Peanut Butter to My Jelly, My Best Friend
Miss Claire Pinney, I'm going to miss this girl more than I can say!

So stay tuned! There will be more details to come! In the mean time, the Lord bless you and keep you, continue seeking His face, continue to love Him and seek Him in all that you do. Know that you are cared for, prayed for, and deeply loved. Thank you for everything, and I'm looking forward to the years to come!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Everyone's Getting Married, Engaged, and Having Babies And I'm Over Here Like: I'm Going to Belfast...

That's right! This is my big announcement for those of you that haven't heard, I'm heading to Belfast, Northern Ireland! It's still early on in the process, but I've spoken with the pastor of Every Nation Belfast, Johann, and I'm working towards heading out there by the end of this year! I'm so excited! I'm not sure if you could tell by my blog post about Belfast, but I completely fell in love with the city when I went! My heart was captured by the people, and the love God has for the people there. I also feel that there is so much that I can learn there, especially from the team I will be working with! I will be helping with the church plant there, so I will be wearing plenty of different hats as far as what I'll be doing, but I'm so excited for what God is doing there, and what He's going to do through me!

So in the next few months I'm asking you to pray alongside me, that the Lord continues to guide me through the process of figuring out these next steps to go to Belfast, Northern Ireland. I am currently planning to go under Bethany International Ministries and work for Every Nation. Since this is such a special circumstance I'm having to work through a lot of details with these organizations, to make sure that everything that needs to be covered is covered. Please just be praying into this situation and that God would just be in it and all over it. I'm excited to be able to work with both organizations since both are so dear to my heart!

Also please pray for me as I'm finishing up my time here at school. I only have two months left until I graduate (What?!?) and I want to finish strong! Once I graduate, it's going to be a crazy, hectic time! My sister is getting married, then I need to come back to Minnesota to finish up the process of being sent out under Bethany, then I need to head back to Florida to start partnership development! So please keep me in your prayers during this critical time as one season comes to a close, and another begins.

To all of my long time supporters and friends: I am SO excited to take this next step with you all! You have been there for me, loving me, praying for me, and let me tell you, I would not be where I am now without you! My heart is overflowing with love and gratitude for you all! I am so blessed to have you in my life, and I cannot begin to express how much you mean to me! I am such a different person, the Lord is molding and shaping me into the woman He has called me to be, and you all have been an important part of that process. My heart is full of His promises, and the hope that He has given me, and I just pray that He fills your hearts with promises and the same hope. He loves you so much, and wants to continue to lead you. Just love Him, follow Him, give Him everything and you will be amazed at what happens! I never thought I'd be able to go to the UK, no matter how much I desired it, I thought it was a desire I would have to give up. But the Lord took the time to show me that it was a desire He had planted in me, because He has a plan and purpose to send me there. So open your heart to the possibilities the Lord might have for you! Seek Him, and He will reveal them to you!

I love you all, and will keep you updated on the process of everything! So excited to share this with you!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Is This Home?

Hi Everyone!

Sorry it's been a while... I've been going, going, going since I've been back! But now I've found a little bit of time to write, so I'll fill you all in on what life's been like back here in the States!

First though, I want to say thank you. Through all of your prayers, support, encouragement, and love I made it through internship! It would not have been possible without you, please know that in your heart of hearts, I am truly thankful for all that you have done to help me get to France! Lives were touched, friendships were made, and I have been forever changed. So thank you, from the very depths of my heart, thank you for answering the call to be part of my team.

Well, it's been a little over a month since I've been back. And it's surreal. After a lot of running around during break (New York, Florida, North Carolina, Illinois, and finally Minnesota to return for my senior semester) I've been able to actually sit down and begin processing. It has not been easy. For a while there I couldn't even talk about France because I just wanted to cry. I missed it. I still do. I built a life there, made friends, learned a language, loved, laughed, cried, lived. And now, I'm back here, in a place that was once familiar, but seems so foreign to me now. The food tastes funny, everyone speaks English, and I'm supposed to just pick back up where I left off? No. This is a time for readjustment, this is a time to reflect back, close one chapter, and move forward with the next.

This is one thing I'm so thankful for here at Bethany, during senior semester, everyone on staff is so gentle with you! They know, they understand, and they don't push you too much. I love it! I feel like I have a safe place, with plenty of people to talk to, who understand what I'm going through. I can be open, honest, and just vent if I have to. This is very much needed during reentry, it is a fragile time in a person's life, and it is important to treat them with the respect and understanding they need.

As I reflect back to my time in France I can see all of the amazing, awesome things God did. He gave me a friendship that I will always cherish, He gave me a family in Marseille, He gave me direction, and a love that I will never lose. During my time in France my heart for Europeans has grown exponentially. I am in love with Europe. Not just because of the beautiful scenery, the languages, the accents, but because God has such a deep, deep love for the people there, and He has shared this love with me. I know that He has such wonderful plans for the people there. I also know the darkness, the hopeless oppression that the live under, and I desperately just want to love the people there. I want to be used by God to shine the light of His love in these dark places. It makes me sad to see how so many people in the church remain ignorant of the need there. It genuinely hurts my heart. I know now though, God has not forgotten them, He has not abandoned them, and He continues to send people like me to them, to remind them of, to show them Jesus. I am so excited for my future, and all of the wonderful things God has in store for me and Europe!

So that's just a little glimpse into my life back in the States. I miss France, I'm glad to be back though, and I'm excited for this summer when I can share with you all in person! Sending you lots of love from the frozen tundra (aka Minnesota)!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy