I Said Hey... What's Going On?

Merry Christmas everyone! As always, I hope I find you well! As we're careening towards the end of the year, I just want to keep everyone up to date on what's going on since my past few posts have been more reflective than informational, so let's dive in!

For those of you just joining, let's recap what I'm doing! I am going to Belfast, Northern Ireland, to work with Every Nation Belfast church plant. I got connected with this church plant back when I was serving in Marseille, France as a missionary intern. I am so excited to be serving with such a wonderful, blessed group of people that are wanting to bring the gospel to such a beautiful and rich culture. When I was visiting Belfast two years ago the Lord moved on my heart, and gave me a glimpse into His heart for the Irish people. He has some pretty incredible things in store for His people and I am so excited to be a part of a team that is looking to facilitate what the Holy Spirit is wanting to do.

A lot of people tend to ask me why Europe, or why specifically Belfast? Well, I am happy to answer that question. In fact I have done so before, in an older blog post titled Let's Set the Record Straight on Missions in Europe which I highly encourage you to read if you want a longer answer than the one I'll give here, I also have a tab above labeled Why Belfast?, again, another longer explanation, this one on specifically why I am going to Belfast. But all this to say, I have many reasons why I have a heart for missions in Europe, but I have to say my number one reason is this: This is the place that Jesus has called me, these are the people group that God has given me a heart for, and I long to do the will of God, because I know there is no better place for me to be than in His will.

Of course there are several other reasons why I feel called to Belfast, like the fact that Belfast is currently the city with the highest suicide rate in Europe, or because it is a strong desire of mine to see peace reign in a place that has had so much division, and still does. I could talk about all these things in depth, and would be happy to if you want to grab a coffee sometime and chat about it, but ultimately I have to answer to God, and why I did or didn't do what He asked of me. He has given me the desire to go, a brain, a mouth to speak, hands to write, and ears to hear, so it is up to me to share the vision He has given me, and to go and serve where He has guided me. So this is why I am going, because I see this wonderful, beautiful people in need of a perfect Savior, and I know Him, so I will go and tell of Him.

Now, part of my ability to go relies on financial support from partners, people like you! God has called me to serve, and I am more than willing to go, however this is not a typical "paid position" kind of job, so I have to trust God to provide the right people to be a part of my team. My finances are broken up into two parts: one time and monthly. Monthly is given on a monthly basis to cover living expenses, and one time covers getting me to Belfast, establishing myself there (buying furniture for my apartment, my visa, etc.). So what do these finances provide, and how do I know they're being used properly? Glad you asked! I'm happy to tell you! These finances provide for my living expenses, things like rent, food, transportation, etc. and one time, as I said before, covers airfare, visa, apartment furnishings, etc. How you know it's being used properly is through my sending organization, Bethany Gateways (Formerly Bethany International). All finances are sent to them (which also gives you nice little tax write off!), then each month they give me the money that you've donated. They make sure everything with finances runs smoothly.

As of right now I have about 30% of my monthly budget, and about 50% of my one time giving. So I still have a ways to go with monthly, but I'm getting quite close with my one time (If you would like a detailed breakdown of my budget, feel free to email me, I will gladly connect with you and share more information.). Because of this, I'm really trying to focus on my monthly partnership. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate any and all financial gifts, and I absolutely want you to give however, and whatever God puts on your heart, so if you feel led to give one time, I will gladly accept those donations! Giving monthly is very easy, and you can give how much or how little you want! If you wanted to give ten dollars a month, for for it, if you wanted to give a thousand, go for it! All donations are welcome! I just ask that you pray about being a monthly partner with me, because every little bit helps. For instructions on how to give monthly, check out the Ways to Give tab above.

More important than anything I need my prayer warrior partners! I need people that are going to intercede for me and my team before and during my time on the field. I know that simply by accepting the call of missionary I am right smack in the middle of a spiritual war zone. One of the most important things that I need is people that are committed to lifting me up in prayer on a regular basis. If this is you, I just ask that you send me a little email, letting me know that you are committing to being one of my prayer warrior partners, so I know that you are out there, praying for me as I walk along this journey. I appreciate you, and the time you take to pray for me more than you know, and I would love to also be praying for you as well. So please, if you are keeping me in your prayers, it will be such an encouragement to me to hear from you!

Okay, so I think that's all my logistical, fun stuff for you! I just want to make sure that everyone who is supporting me, and following my journey is kept up to date as I'm walking along this road, especially now at the end of the year (Which is so crazy, how time flies!). I plan to keep going strong this coming year, and hope to be in Belfast by the end of spring at the very latest! I appreciate you all so much, and I pray that God blesses you now during the Christmas season, and in the new year. Sending you all lots of love, light, and blessings!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

How Deep the Father's Love...

Hello everybody! I hope that, as always, I find you well and in good spirits as we are entering into the Christmas season! I want to apologize for not posting in a while, October and much of November was a bit rough for me to be honest and transparent with you all. As I'm sure you can infer, support raising is always a roller coaster, especially for me. But as always, God is faithful, and continues to give me hope and joy through the difficulties of support raising.

As I've mentioned before, I'm currently residing in New York with my sister, brother-in-law, and my beautiful baby niece, Selah, who is getting bigger every day! As my sister and I get into a routine of putting her to bed we've found that there is one song that seems to put her right to sleep, it's a song that I've sang many times, but until I sang it one night, my sister hadn't heard it before. The name of my niece's "lullaby" is How Deep the Father's Love for Us. Now just in case you, like my sister was, are unfamiliar with the song, here are the lyrics:

"How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom"

When I was at my lowest, this song brought me back. This song that I "randomly" (There are no coincidences in things like this in the Kingdom of God) remembered one night while we were trying to sing my niece to sleep brought tears to my eyes and began to heal the brokenness in my heart.

This song touched me in a depth that I needed, as I sang the words I felt the healing balm only the blood of Christ can provide. And as I sang the same song, over, and over during the next several nights I felt more and more healing. I can't describe it, I almost don't understand it other than the words opened a door that had been locked until that point where I needed to let Jesus in and clean it out.

The lyrics of this song are truly powerful. When I think about the sacrifice, not only of Christ, but that God the Father made, it makes me realize how loved I am. When I was singing this song, I truly was feeling like a wretch. I was not feeling so great about myself, ungrateful, selfish, all because I was letting the difficulties of being a missionary support raising get to me. But the sacrifice God had to endure, as he had to turn His face from Jesus, was so much greater, and all so that He could adopt me. So that He would never be separated from me gain, even in my selfish, ungrateful, sin. Even before I had accepted His grace, even after, God made this sacrifice because, my Daddy, He loves me. And I was sitting there, singing to my niece about our God, about our Daddy that loves us so much, I almost  lost it, because I realized that even though my imperfect earthly father was gone, and I could no longer hear him say that he loved me too, I have a Heavenly Father that loves me even more. I know that even though I miss my dad, so much, everyday, I have a Father that is still here, with me, still loving me, still sad when I'm sad, still excited when I get excited.

Then I think about how it is my actions, my choices that caused the need for the sacrifice. I may be a missionary, I may have decided to devote my life to serving God in ministry, but that does not mean in any way that I don't sin. And at that point, I had sinned plenty. My thoughts had become so self-centered, so selfish, so caught up in my lack, that I was missing the whole point of my career choice, the whole point of my entire life: the cross. Ashamed, I heard my mocking voice calling out. But I know, I don't have to wallow in that. I don't have to beat myself up over my actions, because as He died, I received life. I know that it is finished.

Finally, I cannot boast in anything. I'm not perfect, I'm not even close. Nothing that I do that is right is by my own strength, because when I'm operating in my own strength, I am a weak and useless thing. On my own I am about as ineffective as a plastic tree is at providing oxygen. But when I am in Christ, when I am trusting in Him, believing in Him, letting Him use me, even if everything looks bad, I'm in the best place I can be. Why He chose me, why He is sending me, I cannot even begin to fathom, but I know that He did. I know that I am His, and I am forgiven. I know that He is sending me, that He has a purpose for my life, and I know that I need to see this life through. I need to live my life everyday, walking the path He has set before me.

I say all this, not to have some sort of false humility, or to make you feel sorry for me in any way. I say this because this is my walk with God. It's not a simple cut and dry straight arrow. I say this because I want to be transparent and honest with the people who are supporting me, and praying for me. God hears your prayers, and I am certainly grateful for your support. This is not an easy time in my life by any means, but I have heard so many great words about that recently. Some of our best moments come from the desert. This year has been one massive desert for me, if I'm being honest. I look back at this year (Because yes, December is upon us!), and I realized that in this year, I started support raising, my dad passed away, and I (sort of) moved to New York. It's been one doozy of a year, and as I said, much of it has been a desert for me, but by the grace of God I am still standing. I think about what the word says,

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (ESV)

Now, I have not been persecuted, or thrown in jail, but I've been through my own troubles this year, but God has kept me up, given me hope, loved me through this time. I am forever thankful for His love, His grace, and His mercy.

So take this with you, remember this: all these things the Lord has done for me, He will do for you and more, because He loves us. He is here, now, and He loves you. The sacrifice, the pain, the death, and the resurrection were all for you. Remember that.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Be Still...

Hi everybody! I hope I find you well as we are heading into my favorite season: Autumn! I have had a crazy time since arriving in New York! The day after I arrived, my sister went into labor, a little earlier than I was expecting. The next day, on September 2nd, my niece Selah Amayah Hemphill was born! I love her so much, she is so precious, and I know God is going to do amazing things in and through her! Since then, my birthday came and went (yay 26!), my mom arrived, and we've all been learning a little bit more about newborns. I decided to take some time today to write, and let you all know how things are going, and share some thoughts.

Since arriving in New York I have had some doors potentially open, some expected, some unexpected, so please be keeping those potential support raising opportunities in prayer! I feel that the Lord has many supporters here in New York that He wants to connect me with, so I'm just praying that His will be done, and whoever He wants to partner with me will be pointed out to me by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you all for supporting me, praying for me, and encouraging me as I continue on this journey. I am so excited to see what God does!

Speaking of all this, I wanted to share a little about what the Lord has been teaching me. I've had a pretty hectic few weeks, and as we all know, it's so easy to get distracted, and spend less and less time with the Lord than we should. My sister called me out on that in fact, earlier this week. It made me realize how easily I was letting other things get in my way, whether it was sleep, tv, music, etc. I was letting myself be distracted from spending more time than I should with my Savior. Since that conversation I began being intentional in my time with Him, and trying to listen more, and overall spend more time with Him. There is one thing that continuously comes up for me. It's been a verse that I've been hearing from Him for a while now, but recently I dug into it a little bit more, and I think I understand more now why He keeps bringing it to my attention.

"'The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'"

Exodus 14:14 NIV 

Such a short, simple verse. But it's so powerful. Now, when I first read this verse it moved me. I felt like a weight had been lifted. The Lord is not asking anything extravagant. He doesn't say "Dance in a circle three times, while hopping on your left foot, then howl at the sixth full moon of the year, and then I will fight for you." No, we are reminded, we need only be still. Now, to me, without actually unpacking this verse, it meant to me that I just needed to stop worrying. Stop worrying about how God was going to get me to Belfast, I needed to just come before Him, and be still. I needed to listen to His voice, and His guidance. Now, I think this is perfectly acceptable to view this way, but being the good bible school graduate that I am, I had to dig deeper into this verse. Granted, it took me a few months of using it over and over as a reminder to do so, but once I dug into this verse, it meant so much more to me.



To start, let's look at the context: what was said before this verse, what is going on when it is said?

"As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, 'Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?  Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, "Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians"? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!'
Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'” 

 Exodus 14:10-14 NIV

Okay, so basically, in lay man's terms, the people of Israel, God's chosen people, are freaking out. They are panicking, because God delivered them from the Egyptians, brought them to the Red Sea, Pharaoh changed his mind, and is coming after them. So they have a few options her: they could fight, with virtually no weapons at their disposal, and die, they could go willingly, and sure, Pharaoh will probably kill some of them, but things weren't so bad in Egypt, or, they could trust God. So of course, being such forgetful people, hello, God just performed at least eleven miracles in Egypt, they turn to Moses, and start pointing fingers. "Well if this guy would've just left us alone in Egypt, this would not be happening right now... Now we're all going to die. Thanks so much Moses, you're a real pal." is pretty much how that conversation went. Moses, unlike me, cause let's be honest, I would've thrown down my staff, said "Really?" and just walked away from that hot mess, turns to them and says "Guys, chill, God's got our backs. Like remember Passover, which was literally, twenty-five days ago? Just stop freaking out." Then, as we all know, God came through in one of the biggest ways: he split the Red Sea open, let the Israelites pass, then let it come crashing down on the Egyptians.

Okay, so we see the context of this verse. Wow does this apply to me. I mean, I look at all the other times in my life that God has provided, and it makes me wonder, how do I forget that? How do I forget how great my God is? How many mission trips have I gone on, or my internship in France, and God provided what I needed. Every.Single.Time. So why am I over here stressing myself out about God providing for me to go to Belfast? This verse is me... very much so. But I want to share one more thing about this verse. A selection from a commentary I read yesterday, and this really helped me understand more fully the depth of this passage. Also, side note here, I highly recommend using commentaries. I learned about them in school, or rather how amazing they are, and if the Lord continues to bring you to a verse, and you are not so sure why, check a commentary, it really helps to unpack the verse for you, and understand more about it.

4. (Exo 14:13-14) Moses responds with great courage.
And Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."

a. Do not be afraid: At this point, Moses could have no idea how God would come through in the situation. All he knew was God certainly would come through. In a sense, Moses knew he was in such a bad situation that God had to come through.

i. When we see that our only help is God, we are more likely to trust Him. Sometimes it is the little things - the things we think we can do in our own strength - that get us down, not the big things that we know only God can do.

b. Stand still: Moses told the people of Israel to stop. This is often the LORD's direction to the believer in a time of crisis. Despair will cast you down, keeping you from standing. Fear will tell you to retreat. Impatience will tell you to do something now. Presumption will tell you to jump into the Red Sea before it is parted. But as God told Israel He often tells us to simply stand still as He reveals His plan.

c. See the salvation of the LORD: Moses didn't know what God would do. Yet he knew what the result would be. He knew that God would save His people and that the enemies of the Lord would be destroyed. He could say to Israel, "the LORD will fight for you."

d. You shall see them no more forever: The idea behind this implies much more than at first look. Moses perhaps spoke in terms of eternity as well as their present time. 

(https://www.blueletterbible.org/comm/guzik_david/studyguide_exd/exd_14.cfm)

Okay, I LOVE this. My favorite part is the part about Moses telling the Israelites to not be afraid. Oh.MyGoodness. YES! Moses knew they were backed into a corner, but he also knew the God he served. He knew, that God would come through, because He had not brought them this far to abandon them. This applies to us today. When we are backed into a corner, whatever it might be, God will come through. Sure, it might not be the way we expect, and it might hurt a little, but God always comes through for His people. I'm sure Moses did not expect God to tell him to hold out his staff, and the sea would part. Moses probably expected something more like a giant fireball raining down from the sky and annihilating Pharaoh and his army, or an army of angels taking them out. But God showed up, and He delivered His people.

  Then there's standing still. it's not just about being still before God, it's also about letting go of our fleshly reactions, like despair, fear, impatience (a big one for me), presumption. But His plan will be revealed to us in His time. It's not about what we want, it's about His plan for us. We have to take all these reactions and lay them before the feet of God, at the cross. We have to ask His Spirit to give us peace, that we would not let our own flesh, the temptation of the enemy, or the world we live in gain control over us. We have to give God absolute control, and put our trust in Him.

So here it is, what God has been teaching me, and what I want to share with you. We are like the Israelites, more often than not. We hate to admit it, since their track record isn't the greatest, but here is the good news: God's track record is perfect. He will never fail or forsake us. Now please remember, God coming through may not look the way we expect it to, and sometimes He is steering us away from something to something better, but He is the one who created you. He has a plan, and sometimes, the only way to hear it is to be still.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Welcome to New York...

Hi everyone!

So it's that time again, for a quick update on life! This month's post will mostly be informational, so let's dive in and see what's going on in my life lately!

For the past several months I've been working at a daycare facility, and have truly loved it there. It's been a wonderful job for me, and I felt so blessed that the Lord provided this job for me at this time. It was also perfect timing because up until about a month ago I was still in the thick of my grieving process, and having the distraction of little smiling faces was always a welcome one. But now is time for a change, and through a whole series of events, I have one coming. I will be heading up to New York for the next few months to stay with my sister, and help her and my brother-in-law with my little niece (coming soon!)!

There are several reasons for this move, at first the plan had just been to help my sister out before heading straight off to Belfast, but since I have not completed raising support at this point, I'll be staying in New York until I'm ready to get my visa, then I'll be coming back down to Florida until I leave for Belfast. I believe that this move will be greatly beneficial for me, especially in opening new doors for raising support.

However, at this time I want to ask my praying folks out there, to please be praying for me in my last few weeks here in Florida. I have a very strong feeling that the Lord is wanting to do some big things for me when it comes to raising support. So please keep me, and all of my support raising in your prayers of the next few months, I would very much appreciate it!

I know some of you might be wondering how my mom is handling this, but please rest assured that I took this into account as well! She is very excited for me to take this next step, and see what God is going to do with it. She has assured me (because I still have my moments where I ask her "Are you SURE???") that she has plenty of great people around, like my cousin, my grandparents, her best friend June, and lots of amazing women from the church. Plus she's excited to come up once the baby is born!

So that is pretty much my big news! I am so excited to be taking this step forward, and I definitely believe that this is one more step towards getting to Belfast! I will continue to keep you all updated as I continue taking steps towards Belfast.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

A Father's Love

Hi everyone! I apologize for not writing for the past few months, but I'm sure you can understand that it's been a difficult time for me... We've had two memorial services for my dad, one here in Florida, one in New York, I had the privilege of attending my brilliant niece's high school graduation in Wichita, and was able to road trip up there with my mom, and of course it's just been a time of reflection and mourning for me to be honest. But now, it's time for me to move forward, and continue on this journey to Belfast, and I'm ready for it! I just want to dedicate this post to my dad, one of my biggest supporters, and the one who helped get me to where I am.

My dad and I had a rocky relationship to say the least, if I'm being totally honest. There were many elements that contributed to it's rockiness, but one of the ones I want to focus on is the fact that we were both extremely stubborn, like father like daughter. He was a lawyer, so at a young age, I had to learn how to argue my point. One of the things I remember from when I was little is he would tell me "I know everything." so I would counter, "Okay, when is Jesus coming back?" and he would say "I don't know that" so I would smile sweetly and say "Then you don't know everything." That was us. Arguing pretty consistently. Only when I got older the arguments got louder, and sometimes nastier.

But once I became an adult, things changed. He treated me as an adult. Sure, we argued, and sometimes, mostly because of his hearing to be honest, we'd yell at each other, but he began to treat me differently. It was almost like once I turned eighteen I was an adult, not just legally, but in his eyes. I was at an age where I could make decisions for myself, and for the most part, he respected them, even when he didn't agree. Now, as some of you may know, when I was eighteen I did not make the best decisions. Spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally I was a complete and total wreck. I was not prepared to be an adult. It wasn't until I was older, and willing to be healed, and to change that I began to get it together. But through all of that, my dad was understanding. Sure, I drove him crazy at times, and he'd let me know, but while he was helping me get back on my feet, he tried to be as supportive as he could.

Then, one day, I told him that I wanted to be a missionary. He couldn't have been happier. As long as I got my degree, because education was extremely important to him, then he wanted to help me do this. I agreed, because he had taught me the importance of education, so I found Bethany. I am so thankful that he was supportive of my decision to go there, it was the best four years of my life, going through the program, and it helped really heal my relationship with him in deep, and fundamental ways. There were things that I needed to work out (like I said earlier, we had a rocky relationship) in my own heart and life, and I was able to have a stronger relationship with him as my father.

Before I left for my internship in France one of the things he told me was this "Don't come back for anything. If anything happens to me, don't come back, finish what you started." I smiled and told him that I would come back anyway, but I would go back and finish my internship after. See, before I left for France, his health had deteriorated even further. The idea of him dying was not a farfetched one by any means. This was something I had learned to live with, something that had become a part of my life, and I would morbidly joke about with my closest friends, and silently cry about at night in my bed. This was my reality: that my dad would not make it much longer.

But I went to France, and I came back. He was still alive. I graduated from college, and even though he couldn't make it, he watched it live streaming at home. I came home, and prepared to leave for Belfast, and again, he told me "If you are over there, and anything happens to me, don't come back. Keep moving forward." I smiled and nodded, knowing I would still come home anyway. His health had gotten much worse than when I left for France, and now I knew it was a definite possibility that he would pass away soon.

All during my time of support raising for Belfast he was an encouragement. When I felt discouraged, and felt like I couldn't see how all this would work out, he would remind me that God was bigger than this. That He had called me to this, and He would see it through. He would remind me how proud of me he was, that I had chosen to dedicate my life to God, and his plans. He was very encouraging through it all, when I needed it most.

Then, in April, he was gone. His health deteriorated rapidly, and he was gone. I'm thankful I was here, that I was able to be here with my family, especially with my mom. But with my dad went all that encouragement. With him went so much that I didn't realize I had, that I had taken for granted. The first month of him being gone I was strong. I hardly cried. I thought I had mourned already, in the years before, when he had been ill. I thought that this was it, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't feel anything deeper.

Then, on the way home from Kansas, I was listening to my music while my mom had her headphones in. The song Waka Waka by Shakira came on. I tried my best not to burst into tears. During the past month of not mourning, I'd also been questioning all of my life decisions. I'd been questioning if going to Belfast was the right choice, if God was really sending me there, if being a missionary was the right decision. I mean shouldn't I have a profession where I actually made money instead of asking for money from people? I had been questioning everything. Normally, in these times, I'd go talk to my dad, and he'd remind me, that God had called me to this, that He would provide, and I had to keep going and see it through. But I didn't have that anymore, and instead of going to my heavenly Father, I'd been letting the lies of satan poison my mind. Then this song came on, and all I kept hearing was "The pressure's on you feel it, but you got it all, believe it, When you fall get up, If you fall get up..." And it was almost as if I could hear my dad saying those words to me. Get up, stop letting those lies control your life, stop believing that God can't do this.

It took another month of mourning, and working things out, and going to God about it, but here I am now. Firmly believing that God can, and will do this. I know this is the path He has marked out for me, and I know that this is what my dad wanted for me. He was so proud of the fact that I had chosen to follow God, to choose a path that is in no way easy or simple. The life of a missionary is not easy, on the field or off during support raising or furlough. But it is an honor and a privilege.

I don't know how God is going to do all this. I don't know His plan in all this. I honestly have no clue how all the finances I need will come together for me to go to Belfast, but I know this: I serve a God who can make mountains move. Who can use a song about FIFA to remind me what my dead father would say to me during a time of weakness and doubt. I serve a God that has never failed to provide for every missions endeavor that I've ever made. A God who has never gone back on promises He's made. So yes, it might seem hopeless, I may go through times of doubt and questioning, but God never gives up on me, and He is always working in ways that I cannot see.

These are the things my father taught me, things that my dad made sure I understood. He taught me so much about justice, fairness, honesty, being observant, movies, tv shows, investigating, pain, sadness, hope, but the most important thing that he taught me is this: Christ is my Savior, and through Him all things can be done according to His good and perfect will. No one and nothing can stand in the way of the will of God, and as long as I submit myself to His will, He will work for my good. Whatever that good looks like, even if I don't see it in that moment, He works all things together for my good. So I trust in Him. This is the most important thing my dad taught me, despite differences, yelling matches, anything that either one of us ever did that was hurtful, he taught me the most important lesson that I could ever learn, and I will forever be grateful for that, and I will carry that legacy in my life, and if the Lord blesses me with children, then I will tell them about their grandfather, and what he taught me.

So this post is dedicated to my dad. A man who fought for equality for the hispanic community in New York, who served for twenty-five years on the NYPD, who had a brilliant mind, a curious mind, but most importantly who went on to give his life to Jesus, who dedicated his time to learning about Him, and committing his life to God, who had two beautiful great-grandchildren, ten wonderful, bright grandchildren, three incredible, brilliant children, two incredibly talented step-children, and one daughter that will forever be grateful for his love and dedication to God. He was not perfect, but he was my dad, and I love him, and will always miss him.

Joseph Charleman

January 28, 1937-April 8, 2016

There Will Be A Time When We Must Choose...

Hi everybody!
I hope this finds you well! First off I want to say thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement and reminded me that I am not alone in this after my last blog post! You are all such blessings to me! Second, I want to briefly address what's been going on these past few weeks. My dad is just getting home from the hospital today. As some of you may know, he's had a lot of health problems over the years, and I'm thankful that he's doing better. Please continue to keep him and my family in prayer.

So, I've been learning a lot lately... Especially in this season of loneliness. While I know I'm not alone, it still has been a very lonely time for me. In fact, much of my life has been, but I won't go into all that now. I really want to focus on this season. This season of my life is such an interesting one. It's a season of prolonged transition.

I've just come from an incredible school, where I built such strong, beautiful friendships with some of the most amazing people. I'm still readjusting in some ways to living back in the States, while also preparing to move overseas again. And I am so very much missing three wonderful, beautiful, incredible young women, and our time living together in France, and being so close with each other we were like family. They will always be family to me, no matter the distance, or time without speaking.

Now I'm here. Trying to connect, but not put down roots. Trying to build relationships and invest, but realizing that I'm leaving within the next several months. How easy, how desirable to just do something easier than this. It would be so much easier to give into the temptation of finding a "real" job, putting roots down, and calling it quits on Belfast. On missions. On my calling. SO much easier. Easier to throw up my hands and be done with it all. And believe me, it's been a thought.

"Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right." -Albus Dumbledore (JK Rowling). Say what you will about Harry Potter, but those are some wise words right there. I believe this is the time in my life where I'm making that choice. Sure, choosing to give up on being a missionary may not be the worst thing in the world. I could just do ministry here in the States, where I could actually get paid for it too! I could get a "real" job. I could do all of that, be a nice, normal, American girl, put down roots, get married, and not live an ocean away from my family.

But you know what? That would be wrong. That would be making a choice that was easy. Why is that? Because God has placed a calling on my life, and over one year ago He called me to a specific place, to specific people. And when He called me there, He knew exactly how long it would take for me to get there. He knows exactly who's lives I will impact, and exactly who will impact my life. See, it is so easy to loose perspective, and see the easy way out as an option, as the "right" choice when you live your life without eternity in mind.

My life is not my own. This earth is not my home. I believe this is why this has been such a lonely time for me. This is a time for me to draw close to God, to remember that having people surrounding me is not my everything. My everything is Christ, His love, and His blood shed for me, and the victory I have in His resurrection. God has a purpose for my life, He has given me a fire and a passion for people, and to see them set free, as I have been. This is what is right. This is my path. My flesh, and the devil are working hard to convince me to make the easy choice, but the One within me is stronger than both. The power that raised Christ from the dead is so much stronger than my own fleshly desires.

I could walk away. No one would fault me, or tell me I was doing wrong. But I know I would be. I would be abandoning that which the Lord has called me to. I find strength in knowing that I am stepping out and fulfilling the calling God has on my life. Let people think I'm crazy, or stupid, or foolish. Maybe I will be alone in this, maybe the rest of my life I will be alone, but I am not, nor will I ever be truly alone. There may not be one person around me, but I know that I am never alone.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV, Emphasis mine)

This is my time in the desert, my time of temptation. But I live not on bread alone, but on the word of God. I may be weak, but it is through that weakness the power of the Holy Spirit shines through. I'm no better, no higher, no greater than any person in this world. I fall down, I make mistakes, I sin, but I have to rely on God. Because of my brokenness, because of my sins, my failures, I know I need redemption. I have hope, I have love, I have security in who I am. I know that my home is not of this world, that my treasure is not here. I belong to Christ, and through His death and resurrection I am redeemed.

The Lord told me why He is sending me to Belfast. He told me He has plans for the people there. He told me that He wants to use me, to use the team I'm joining to bring wholeness by the power of His Spirit, to raise up worshipers and intercessors. He will move in a mighty way. I cling to this promise. I hold fast to His word.

So I have made my choice. I will walk out in the promises of God. I will choose what is right. I will follow the path He has laid out for me. I will continue to push through difficult times, to have faith when I cannot see the finish line. I will continue to run this race with endurance. I encourage you to do the same. Have faith. If God has promised you that it will come to pass, believe it. It might not look the way you want it to, but believe me, He will work everything out for the good of those that love him. Remember, we are running a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes things take longer than we want them to, but it will all be worth it in the end.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Through the Trial and the Pain...

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you a monthly update on what's going on with me, my support raising, and my journey!
As of right now I have $310 monthly, verbally pledged! That is so exciting! I still have a ways to go, but I am so excited for the people who have decided to join my team this month! I am still working on raising support, but have pulled back just a little bit because of everything going on with my dad's health.

Speaking of, my dad is doing well right now. He is stable, but there's no denying that he is sick. I am helping my mom take care of him, and I believe this is what the Lord is wanting me to focus on at the moment, so while I am still raising support, I am not spending quite as much time on it as I normally would be.

So for those that are wondering how I'm doing, well, things have been pretty difficult lately. Earlier this month a friend that I had lost touch with, but whom I used to be very close to passed away. She had been a very dear friend to me, we even had matching tattoos. It was very hard for me when I found out, but I know that she is with the Lord, and I will see her again. But it has been a time of grieving for me.

Also, as I mentioned, my father is not in the best of health. It has been very difficult for my family in dealing with this together. He is tired, as he has been sick for so long, it's starting to really wear on him. It's also been hard on my mom and I, as well as my siblings. It's not easy to see someone you love in this state. We know at this point that things are probably not going to get better, so now we're just praying for him to be comfortable, and peaceful. He might have a few more years, a few more months, only God knows how much time we have left with him, but right now we're just praying for him to feel more comfortable and more at peace. This has been no easy thing for us, so prayers are very much appreciated.

And lastly, I've been feeling very alone. I've felt very isolated through this time, when I feel like I need community, I feel like I just haven't quite had any. I'm being really real with you all, because I know I can be. I know I have the Lord, and my relationship with Jesus has brought much comfort to me, but I know He also created us for community. While I've had some, I haven't had much, and it's been really, really hard. So please pray for me. Pray that the Lord would bring people into my life, that could be there for me consistently, and come around me as a body of believers. I've tried reaching out, but I just feel rejected, or like I'm just not in the same place as other girls my age, so please pray for the right girls to come along, and that I would be able to be there for them as they are for me.

This is a short post, but I just wanted to keep you updated on what's going on. I know that living for Christ can sometimes be a lonely life, but I also know that it's worth it. The Lord is working, God is still on the throne, and Jesus is still my Savior. I'm sad, but I am not crushed. I trust that God is doing great things, and while I grieve, and I deal with the difficulties of this life, I know that I have hope. I do not despair, because no matter how hard things get, no matter how alone I feel, God is still God, and He is with me. Thank you all for your prayers and support. They truly mean the world to me.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Information Superhighway

Hello everyone!

Hope you are all doing well, and had lovely holiday seasons with your family and friends! I had a very relaxing time, and I am thankful for it. It's almost the end of January (Crazy!!) And the reason I'm writing so late this month is because, well I've been a bit busy. This month's blog will be mostly informational, because I actually have a bit of information to share, so yay! Okay, I'll try to keep this as entertaining as possible, so there may be a few jokes, or a bit of dry humor thrown in here or there to keep you all entertained. Ready? Let's take a journey on the information superhighway of my life! Woo-hoo!!

1. I have begun support raising! Yay! This is a wonderful time for me, because I have been able to start support raising, which I have been itching to do for a while now! Well what does this mean? Okay I'll explain: I'll be sending out letters, postcards, making phone calls, setting up meetings, etc. to meet with potential partners that want to help me on my journey to, and during my time in Belfast. I have a love hate relationship with this process, but mostly love. I love spending time with people who have it on their hearts to be part of my support team, who have caught the vision that God has given me for Northern Ireland. It is really exciting time to connect with old friends and meet some new ones. I'm just not a big fan of licking envelopes....

2. I had the opportunity to briefly share at church on Sunday, and I had a great response after service with people coming to me and asking for more information. I'm so excited to follow up with them, make appointments, and share more about the vision God's given me for Belfast!

3. Now this is half news half prayer request: Dad was in the hospital this week. He's home now, and it wasn't too major, just low blood pressure and some other issues, but he's home now, and he's doing well. My sister is here helping my mom and I out which has been such a huge blessing! While dad is doing better, this has thrown off my support raising schedule a bit. While of course this is by far not the biggest issue, it is something that has happened. SO all that to say please be keeping my dad and his health in your prayers. Also please be keeping my mom in your prayers, since she is his primary caregiver, and takes a lot of this on her shoulders which has taken it's toll on her in the past. And please keep the rest of my family in your prayers, as this is always a difficult time for our family, and puts us all a little bit on edge.

4. Okay now a full on prayer request for me: please pray for encouragement for me during this time. I firmly believe that during this time satan will try to use different things to discourage me, to keep me from getting to Belfast. I am so excited to get there, and join the team, but the waiting can really be a time of growth and encouragement, or a time of frustration and discouragement. I ask that you pray that this be a time of growth and encouragement. That I would not grow weary, but keep pushing on strong.

Okay, so that's it for this month. Thanks for bearing with me, for praying with me, for agreeing with me. It means the world! Keep being encouraged in the Lord, and know that He loves you, He is for you, and He is a great and merciful God. Love you all and hope that in this new year you are blessed beyond measure, and that the love of Christ be revealed to you in new and wonderful ways!

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy