Be Still...

Hi everybody! I hope I find you well as we are heading into my favorite season: Autumn! I have had a crazy time since arriving in New York! The day after I arrived, my sister went into labor, a little earlier than I was expecting. The next day, on September 2nd, my niece Selah Amayah Hemphill was born! I love her so much, she is so precious, and I know God is going to do amazing things in and through her! Since then, my birthday came and went (yay 26!), my mom arrived, and we've all been learning a little bit more about newborns. I decided to take some time today to write, and let you all know how things are going, and share some thoughts.

Since arriving in New York I have had some doors potentially open, some expected, some unexpected, so please be keeping those potential support raising opportunities in prayer! I feel that the Lord has many supporters here in New York that He wants to connect me with, so I'm just praying that His will be done, and whoever He wants to partner with me will be pointed out to me by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you all for supporting me, praying for me, and encouraging me as I continue on this journey. I am so excited to see what God does!

Speaking of all this, I wanted to share a little about what the Lord has been teaching me. I've had a pretty hectic few weeks, and as we all know, it's so easy to get distracted, and spend less and less time with the Lord than we should. My sister called me out on that in fact, earlier this week. It made me realize how easily I was letting other things get in my way, whether it was sleep, tv, music, etc. I was letting myself be distracted from spending more time than I should with my Savior. Since that conversation I began being intentional in my time with Him, and trying to listen more, and overall spend more time with Him. There is one thing that continuously comes up for me. It's been a verse that I've been hearing from Him for a while now, but recently I dug into it a little bit more, and I think I understand more now why He keeps bringing it to my attention.

"'The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'"

Exodus 14:14 NIV 

Such a short, simple verse. But it's so powerful. Now, when I first read this verse it moved me. I felt like a weight had been lifted. The Lord is not asking anything extravagant. He doesn't say "Dance in a circle three times, while hopping on your left foot, then howl at the sixth full moon of the year, and then I will fight for you." No, we are reminded, we need only be still. Now, to me, without actually unpacking this verse, it meant to me that I just needed to stop worrying. Stop worrying about how God was going to get me to Belfast, I needed to just come before Him, and be still. I needed to listen to His voice, and His guidance. Now, I think this is perfectly acceptable to view this way, but being the good bible school graduate that I am, I had to dig deeper into this verse. Granted, it took me a few months of using it over and over as a reminder to do so, but once I dug into this verse, it meant so much more to me.



To start, let's look at the context: what was said before this verse, what is going on when it is said?

"As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, 'Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?  Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, "Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians"? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!'
Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'” 

 Exodus 14:10-14 NIV

Okay, so basically, in lay man's terms, the people of Israel, God's chosen people, are freaking out. They are panicking, because God delivered them from the Egyptians, brought them to the Red Sea, Pharaoh changed his mind, and is coming after them. So they have a few options her: they could fight, with virtually no weapons at their disposal, and die, they could go willingly, and sure, Pharaoh will probably kill some of them, but things weren't so bad in Egypt, or, they could trust God. So of course, being such forgetful people, hello, God just performed at least eleven miracles in Egypt, they turn to Moses, and start pointing fingers. "Well if this guy would've just left us alone in Egypt, this would not be happening right now... Now we're all going to die. Thanks so much Moses, you're a real pal." is pretty much how that conversation went. Moses, unlike me, cause let's be honest, I would've thrown down my staff, said "Really?" and just walked away from that hot mess, turns to them and says "Guys, chill, God's got our backs. Like remember Passover, which was literally, twenty-five days ago? Just stop freaking out." Then, as we all know, God came through in one of the biggest ways: he split the Red Sea open, let the Israelites pass, then let it come crashing down on the Egyptians.

Okay, so we see the context of this verse. Wow does this apply to me. I mean, I look at all the other times in my life that God has provided, and it makes me wonder, how do I forget that? How do I forget how great my God is? How many mission trips have I gone on, or my internship in France, and God provided what I needed. Every.Single.Time. So why am I over here stressing myself out about God providing for me to go to Belfast? This verse is me... very much so. But I want to share one more thing about this verse. A selection from a commentary I read yesterday, and this really helped me understand more fully the depth of this passage. Also, side note here, I highly recommend using commentaries. I learned about them in school, or rather how amazing they are, and if the Lord continues to bring you to a verse, and you are not so sure why, check a commentary, it really helps to unpack the verse for you, and understand more about it.

4. (Exo 14:13-14) Moses responds with great courage.
And Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."

a. Do not be afraid: At this point, Moses could have no idea how God would come through in the situation. All he knew was God certainly would come through. In a sense, Moses knew he was in such a bad situation that God had to come through.

i. When we see that our only help is God, we are more likely to trust Him. Sometimes it is the little things - the things we think we can do in our own strength - that get us down, not the big things that we know only God can do.

b. Stand still: Moses told the people of Israel to stop. This is often the LORD's direction to the believer in a time of crisis. Despair will cast you down, keeping you from standing. Fear will tell you to retreat. Impatience will tell you to do something now. Presumption will tell you to jump into the Red Sea before it is parted. But as God told Israel He often tells us to simply stand still as He reveals His plan.

c. See the salvation of the LORD: Moses didn't know what God would do. Yet he knew what the result would be. He knew that God would save His people and that the enemies of the Lord would be destroyed. He could say to Israel, "the LORD will fight for you."

d. You shall see them no more forever: The idea behind this implies much more than at first look. Moses perhaps spoke in terms of eternity as well as their present time. 

(https://www.blueletterbible.org/comm/guzik_david/studyguide_exd/exd_14.cfm)

Okay, I LOVE this. My favorite part is the part about Moses telling the Israelites to not be afraid. Oh.MyGoodness. YES! Moses knew they were backed into a corner, but he also knew the God he served. He knew, that God would come through, because He had not brought them this far to abandon them. This applies to us today. When we are backed into a corner, whatever it might be, God will come through. Sure, it might not be the way we expect, and it might hurt a little, but God always comes through for His people. I'm sure Moses did not expect God to tell him to hold out his staff, and the sea would part. Moses probably expected something more like a giant fireball raining down from the sky and annihilating Pharaoh and his army, or an army of angels taking them out. But God showed up, and He delivered His people.

  Then there's standing still. it's not just about being still before God, it's also about letting go of our fleshly reactions, like despair, fear, impatience (a big one for me), presumption. But His plan will be revealed to us in His time. It's not about what we want, it's about His plan for us. We have to take all these reactions and lay them before the feet of God, at the cross. We have to ask His Spirit to give us peace, that we would not let our own flesh, the temptation of the enemy, or the world we live in gain control over us. We have to give God absolute control, and put our trust in Him.

So here it is, what God has been teaching me, and what I want to share with you. We are like the Israelites, more often than not. We hate to admit it, since their track record isn't the greatest, but here is the good news: God's track record is perfect. He will never fail or forsake us. Now please remember, God coming through may not look the way we expect it to, and sometimes He is steering us away from something to something better, but He is the one who created you. He has a plan, and sometimes, the only way to hear it is to be still.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Welcome to New York...

Hi everyone!

So it's that time again, for a quick update on life! This month's post will mostly be informational, so let's dive in and see what's going on in my life lately!

For the past several months I've been working at a daycare facility, and have truly loved it there. It's been a wonderful job for me, and I felt so blessed that the Lord provided this job for me at this time. It was also perfect timing because up until about a month ago I was still in the thick of my grieving process, and having the distraction of little smiling faces was always a welcome one. But now is time for a change, and through a whole series of events, I have one coming. I will be heading up to New York for the next few months to stay with my sister, and help her and my brother-in-law with my little niece (coming soon!)!

There are several reasons for this move, at first the plan had just been to help my sister out before heading straight off to Belfast, but since I have not completed raising support at this point, I'll be staying in New York until I'm ready to get my visa, then I'll be coming back down to Florida until I leave for Belfast. I believe that this move will be greatly beneficial for me, especially in opening new doors for raising support.

However, at this time I want to ask my praying folks out there, to please be praying for me in my last few weeks here in Florida. I have a very strong feeling that the Lord is wanting to do some big things for me when it comes to raising support. So please keep me, and all of my support raising in your prayers of the next few months, I would very much appreciate it!

I know some of you might be wondering how my mom is handling this, but please rest assured that I took this into account as well! She is very excited for me to take this next step, and see what God is going to do with it. She has assured me (because I still have my moments where I ask her "Are you SURE???") that she has plenty of great people around, like my cousin, my grandparents, her best friend June, and lots of amazing women from the church. Plus she's excited to come up once the baby is born!

So that is pretty much my big news! I am so excited to be taking this step forward, and I definitely believe that this is one more step towards getting to Belfast! I will continue to keep you all updated as I continue taking steps towards Belfast.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

A Father's Love

Hi everyone! I apologize for not writing for the past few months, but I'm sure you can understand that it's been a difficult time for me... We've had two memorial services for my dad, one here in Florida, one in New York, I had the privilege of attending my brilliant niece's high school graduation in Wichita, and was able to road trip up there with my mom, and of course it's just been a time of reflection and mourning for me to be honest. But now, it's time for me to move forward, and continue on this journey to Belfast, and I'm ready for it! I just want to dedicate this post to my dad, one of my biggest supporters, and the one who helped get me to where I am.

My dad and I had a rocky relationship to say the least, if I'm being totally honest. There were many elements that contributed to it's rockiness, but one of the ones I want to focus on is the fact that we were both extremely stubborn, like father like daughter. He was a lawyer, so at a young age, I had to learn how to argue my point. One of the things I remember from when I was little is he would tell me "I know everything." so I would counter, "Okay, when is Jesus coming back?" and he would say "I don't know that" so I would smile sweetly and say "Then you don't know everything." That was us. Arguing pretty consistently. Only when I got older the arguments got louder, and sometimes nastier.

But once I became an adult, things changed. He treated me as an adult. Sure, we argued, and sometimes, mostly because of his hearing to be honest, we'd yell at each other, but he began to treat me differently. It was almost like once I turned eighteen I was an adult, not just legally, but in his eyes. I was at an age where I could make decisions for myself, and for the most part, he respected them, even when he didn't agree. Now, as some of you may know, when I was eighteen I did not make the best decisions. Spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally I was a complete and total wreck. I was not prepared to be an adult. It wasn't until I was older, and willing to be healed, and to change that I began to get it together. But through all of that, my dad was understanding. Sure, I drove him crazy at times, and he'd let me know, but while he was helping me get back on my feet, he tried to be as supportive as he could.

Then, one day, I told him that I wanted to be a missionary. He couldn't have been happier. As long as I got my degree, because education was extremely important to him, then he wanted to help me do this. I agreed, because he had taught me the importance of education, so I found Bethany. I am so thankful that he was supportive of my decision to go there, it was the best four years of my life, going through the program, and it helped really heal my relationship with him in deep, and fundamental ways. There were things that I needed to work out (like I said earlier, we had a rocky relationship) in my own heart and life, and I was able to have a stronger relationship with him as my father.

Before I left for my internship in France one of the things he told me was this "Don't come back for anything. If anything happens to me, don't come back, finish what you started." I smiled and told him that I would come back anyway, but I would go back and finish my internship after. See, before I left for France, his health had deteriorated even further. The idea of him dying was not a farfetched one by any means. This was something I had learned to live with, something that had become a part of my life, and I would morbidly joke about with my closest friends, and silently cry about at night in my bed. This was my reality: that my dad would not make it much longer.

But I went to France, and I came back. He was still alive. I graduated from college, and even though he couldn't make it, he watched it live streaming at home. I came home, and prepared to leave for Belfast, and again, he told me "If you are over there, and anything happens to me, don't come back. Keep moving forward." I smiled and nodded, knowing I would still come home anyway. His health had gotten much worse than when I left for France, and now I knew it was a definite possibility that he would pass away soon.

All during my time of support raising for Belfast he was an encouragement. When I felt discouraged, and felt like I couldn't see how all this would work out, he would remind me that God was bigger than this. That He had called me to this, and He would see it through. He would remind me how proud of me he was, that I had chosen to dedicate my life to God, and his plans. He was very encouraging through it all, when I needed it most.

Then, in April, he was gone. His health deteriorated rapidly, and he was gone. I'm thankful I was here, that I was able to be here with my family, especially with my mom. But with my dad went all that encouragement. With him went so much that I didn't realize I had, that I had taken for granted. The first month of him being gone I was strong. I hardly cried. I thought I had mourned already, in the years before, when he had been ill. I thought that this was it, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't feel anything deeper.

Then, on the way home from Kansas, I was listening to my music while my mom had her headphones in. The song Waka Waka by Shakira came on. I tried my best not to burst into tears. During the past month of not mourning, I'd also been questioning all of my life decisions. I'd been questioning if going to Belfast was the right choice, if God was really sending me there, if being a missionary was the right decision. I mean shouldn't I have a profession where I actually made money instead of asking for money from people? I had been questioning everything. Normally, in these times, I'd go talk to my dad, and he'd remind me, that God had called me to this, that He would provide, and I had to keep going and see it through. But I didn't have that anymore, and instead of going to my heavenly Father, I'd been letting the lies of satan poison my mind. Then this song came on, and all I kept hearing was "The pressure's on you feel it, but you got it all, believe it, When you fall get up, If you fall get up..." And it was almost as if I could hear my dad saying those words to me. Get up, stop letting those lies control your life, stop believing that God can't do this.

It took another month of mourning, and working things out, and going to God about it, but here I am now. Firmly believing that God can, and will do this. I know this is the path He has marked out for me, and I know that this is what my dad wanted for me. He was so proud of the fact that I had chosen to follow God, to choose a path that is in no way easy or simple. The life of a missionary is not easy, on the field or off during support raising or furlough. But it is an honor and a privilege.

I don't know how God is going to do all this. I don't know His plan in all this. I honestly have no clue how all the finances I need will come together for me to go to Belfast, but I know this: I serve a God who can make mountains move. Who can use a song about FIFA to remind me what my dead father would say to me during a time of weakness and doubt. I serve a God that has never failed to provide for every missions endeavor that I've ever made. A God who has never gone back on promises He's made. So yes, it might seem hopeless, I may go through times of doubt and questioning, but God never gives up on me, and He is always working in ways that I cannot see.

These are the things my father taught me, things that my dad made sure I understood. He taught me so much about justice, fairness, honesty, being observant, movies, tv shows, investigating, pain, sadness, hope, but the most important thing that he taught me is this: Christ is my Savior, and through Him all things can be done according to His good and perfect will. No one and nothing can stand in the way of the will of God, and as long as I submit myself to His will, He will work for my good. Whatever that good looks like, even if I don't see it in that moment, He works all things together for my good. So I trust in Him. This is the most important thing my dad taught me, despite differences, yelling matches, anything that either one of us ever did that was hurtful, he taught me the most important lesson that I could ever learn, and I will forever be grateful for that, and I will carry that legacy in my life, and if the Lord blesses me with children, then I will tell them about their grandfather, and what he taught me.

So this post is dedicated to my dad. A man who fought for equality for the hispanic community in New York, who served for twenty-five years on the NYPD, who had a brilliant mind, a curious mind, but most importantly who went on to give his life to Jesus, who dedicated his time to learning about Him, and committing his life to God, who had two beautiful great-grandchildren, ten wonderful, bright grandchildren, three incredible, brilliant children, two incredibly talented step-children, and one daughter that will forever be grateful for his love and dedication to God. He was not perfect, but he was my dad, and I love him, and will always miss him.

Joseph Charleman

January 28, 1937-April 8, 2016

There Will Be A Time When We Must Choose...

Hi everybody!
I hope this finds you well! First off I want to say thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement and reminded me that I am not alone in this after my last blog post! You are all such blessings to me! Second, I want to briefly address what's been going on these past few weeks. My dad is just getting home from the hospital today. As some of you may know, he's had a lot of health problems over the years, and I'm thankful that he's doing better. Please continue to keep him and my family in prayer.

So, I've been learning a lot lately... Especially in this season of loneliness. While I know I'm not alone, it still has been a very lonely time for me. In fact, much of my life has been, but I won't go into all that now. I really want to focus on this season. This season of my life is such an interesting one. It's a season of prolonged transition.

I've just come from an incredible school, where I built such strong, beautiful friendships with some of the most amazing people. I'm still readjusting in some ways to living back in the States, while also preparing to move overseas again. And I am so very much missing three wonderful, beautiful, incredible young women, and our time living together in France, and being so close with each other we were like family. They will always be family to me, no matter the distance, or time without speaking.

Now I'm here. Trying to connect, but not put down roots. Trying to build relationships and invest, but realizing that I'm leaving within the next several months. How easy, how desirable to just do something easier than this. It would be so much easier to give into the temptation of finding a "real" job, putting roots down, and calling it quits on Belfast. On missions. On my calling. SO much easier. Easier to throw up my hands and be done with it all. And believe me, it's been a thought.

"Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right." -Albus Dumbledore (JK Rowling). Say what you will about Harry Potter, but those are some wise words right there. I believe this is the time in my life where I'm making that choice. Sure, choosing to give up on being a missionary may not be the worst thing in the world. I could just do ministry here in the States, where I could actually get paid for it too! I could get a "real" job. I could do all of that, be a nice, normal, American girl, put down roots, get married, and not live an ocean away from my family.

But you know what? That would be wrong. That would be making a choice that was easy. Why is that? Because God has placed a calling on my life, and over one year ago He called me to a specific place, to specific people. And when He called me there, He knew exactly how long it would take for me to get there. He knows exactly who's lives I will impact, and exactly who will impact my life. See, it is so easy to loose perspective, and see the easy way out as an option, as the "right" choice when you live your life without eternity in mind.

My life is not my own. This earth is not my home. I believe this is why this has been such a lonely time for me. This is a time for me to draw close to God, to remember that having people surrounding me is not my everything. My everything is Christ, His love, and His blood shed for me, and the victory I have in His resurrection. God has a purpose for my life, He has given me a fire and a passion for people, and to see them set free, as I have been. This is what is right. This is my path. My flesh, and the devil are working hard to convince me to make the easy choice, but the One within me is stronger than both. The power that raised Christ from the dead is so much stronger than my own fleshly desires.

I could walk away. No one would fault me, or tell me I was doing wrong. But I know I would be. I would be abandoning that which the Lord has called me to. I find strength in knowing that I am stepping out and fulfilling the calling God has on my life. Let people think I'm crazy, or stupid, or foolish. Maybe I will be alone in this, maybe the rest of my life I will be alone, but I am not, nor will I ever be truly alone. There may not be one person around me, but I know that I am never alone.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV, Emphasis mine)

This is my time in the desert, my time of temptation. But I live not on bread alone, but on the word of God. I may be weak, but it is through that weakness the power of the Holy Spirit shines through. I'm no better, no higher, no greater than any person in this world. I fall down, I make mistakes, I sin, but I have to rely on God. Because of my brokenness, because of my sins, my failures, I know I need redemption. I have hope, I have love, I have security in who I am. I know that my home is not of this world, that my treasure is not here. I belong to Christ, and through His death and resurrection I am redeemed.

The Lord told me why He is sending me to Belfast. He told me He has plans for the people there. He told me that He wants to use me, to use the team I'm joining to bring wholeness by the power of His Spirit, to raise up worshipers and intercessors. He will move in a mighty way. I cling to this promise. I hold fast to His word.

So I have made my choice. I will walk out in the promises of God. I will choose what is right. I will follow the path He has laid out for me. I will continue to push through difficult times, to have faith when I cannot see the finish line. I will continue to run this race with endurance. I encourage you to do the same. Have faith. If God has promised you that it will come to pass, believe it. It might not look the way you want it to, but believe me, He will work everything out for the good of those that love him. Remember, we are running a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes things take longer than we want them to, but it will all be worth it in the end.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy

Through the Trial and the Pain...

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you a monthly update on what's going on with me, my support raising, and my journey!
As of right now I have $310 monthly, verbally pledged! That is so exciting! I still have a ways to go, but I am so excited for the people who have decided to join my team this month! I am still working on raising support, but have pulled back just a little bit because of everything going on with my dad's health.

Speaking of, my dad is doing well right now. He is stable, but there's no denying that he is sick. I am helping my mom take care of him, and I believe this is what the Lord is wanting me to focus on at the moment, so while I am still raising support, I am not spending quite as much time on it as I normally would be.

So for those that are wondering how I'm doing, well, things have been pretty difficult lately. Earlier this month a friend that I had lost touch with, but whom I used to be very close to passed away. She had been a very dear friend to me, we even had matching tattoos. It was very hard for me when I found out, but I know that she is with the Lord, and I will see her again. But it has been a time of grieving for me.

Also, as I mentioned, my father is not in the best of health. It has been very difficult for my family in dealing with this together. He is tired, as he has been sick for so long, it's starting to really wear on him. It's also been hard on my mom and I, as well as my siblings. It's not easy to see someone you love in this state. We know at this point that things are probably not going to get better, so now we're just praying for him to be comfortable, and peaceful. He might have a few more years, a few more months, only God knows how much time we have left with him, but right now we're just praying for him to feel more comfortable and more at peace. This has been no easy thing for us, so prayers are very much appreciated.

And lastly, I've been feeling very alone. I've felt very isolated through this time, when I feel like I need community, I feel like I just haven't quite had any. I'm being really real with you all, because I know I can be. I know I have the Lord, and my relationship with Jesus has brought much comfort to me, but I know He also created us for community. While I've had some, I haven't had much, and it's been really, really hard. So please pray for me. Pray that the Lord would bring people into my life, that could be there for me consistently, and come around me as a body of believers. I've tried reaching out, but I just feel rejected, or like I'm just not in the same place as other girls my age, so please pray for the right girls to come along, and that I would be able to be there for them as they are for me.

This is a short post, but I just wanted to keep you updated on what's going on. I know that living for Christ can sometimes be a lonely life, but I also know that it's worth it. The Lord is working, God is still on the throne, and Jesus is still my Savior. I'm sad, but I am not crushed. I trust that God is doing great things, and while I grieve, and I deal with the difficulties of this life, I know that I have hope. I do not despair, because no matter how hard things get, no matter how alone I feel, God is still God, and He is with me. Thank you all for your prayers and support. They truly mean the world to me.

Blessings and Love,

Chrissy